13 August 2008

Pac-man is not a smart man

No, I'm not going to call him "Adam Jones". His name is Pac-man. Living here in Dallas and getting Cowboy reports all-day every day, I know that inside the world of the blue star, he still goes by pac-man. His momma calls him pac-man, I'm gonna call him pac-man.

So anyways, Pac-man "make it rain" Jones took some shots at Denver wideout, Brandon Marshall yesterday after the team's first joint practice together at the Broncos' training facility at Dove Valley, in suburban Denver.

Said the big yellow chomper:

"TO is 10 times faster than Brandon Marshall. 10 times stronger than Brandon Marshall. #15 ain't no TO."

Curiously that was after #15 made several big catches against Dallas' first-team defense...after shaking-off the chomper.

Now maybe Mr. Pac had a bit too much to drink at one of Denver's "scrip clubs" (listen to his sound bites, he does not say strip club, but scrip or script club. Maybe he actually thought these establishments were for writing SCRIPTS and in his script, he plays himself, makes it rain, degrades women, leaves people shot & wounded on the scene, and then declares in all of his genius that "it ain't no sin to go to the scrip club") I severely digress...

Maybe the public schools in Atlanta where pacman grew have really low math requirements, or pacman's stint on TNA wrestling banged-up his round, yellow head, but by my estimations, Terrel Owens would have to be the world's strongest AND fastest man (including cartoons and superheros) to be 10 times faster and stronger than the BIGGER (6'4", 230lbs to TO's 6'3", 218) Brandon Marshall.

Now while I believe the 35 year old Mr. Owens is pretty darn strong and fast, I think it's highly unlikely that he benches 3,500lbs, and runs a 0.43 40-yard dash.

Not only that, but if TO's "ten times faster and stronger" than the 24 year old Marshall, then why, on a team with less weapons, a much less effective offense, and much less scoring than that of the Cowboys, did Marshall have 21 more catches than TO (102 to 81), with significantly more yards-after-catch (505 to 358)?

TO clearly had an amazing year, but #15 is going to be a force in Denver for the next decade or better...and certainly faces better competition every day across the line of scrimmage in Champ Bailey, than he has to face this week in the Pacman.

Just wondering Adam...err, Pacman, where were you in coverage this week against Brandon Marshall?

Get lost in the maze? Eat too many yellow dots?