Random, concussion-induced musings

So, as you might be aware if you follow me on twitter, I have a concussion. Yep, a concussion.

How you may ask? I am so glad you asked! Let me tell you!

In a brilliant move last night, I was traversing the Route Irish of our house; the pitch black alley of death between my bed and the toilet part of the bathroom. in the 15 feet before the I reach relief, I must daftly avoid the attacks of any number of snipers (random floor-borne hazards) and road-side bombs (doors ajar). So last night, the shower door--the insurgent of the bathroom--left itself open at such an angle that it hit me dead on in the eyebrow. There was no glancing-blow...I hit it dead-on, and my bell was rung. After evading further attack (and taking out my anger on both Mr shower door and Mr bathroom door), I sat down on the toilet (yes, I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit I sit down when I pee. I'm just too lazy to stand there, and secondly, I stopped peeing standing up once I started having to clean my own bathroom. Just never know where that stream is going to go, especially at night. And that's disgusting.)...I digress. I sat down on the toilet and started bleeding. A lot.

Today I was dizzy, completely nauseous and hurting pretty bad. I'll be fine, but it was not pleasant.

So, these are a random collection of thoughts in a concussion induced state.

- I love my parents. As each day in my maturation (drinking from the fire hose of real life) as a man, Dad, husband and step-dad comes & goes, I have a renewed appreciation and admiration for my wonderful Mom, my amazing Dad, and my loving Step-Mom. In short, they friendships are more precious than gold, and their characters more solid, righteous and inspiring than any hero that Hollywood could write into even the best of screenplays. I love My Mom, Dad and Step-Mom so very much.

- I also have a burning anger, disgust and disappointment in my Step-Dad. I don't feel good about having so much anger, but its the type of righteous anger that I believe we are supposed to feel towards evil, sin and destruction. I do need to move my heart to the New Testament part of this chapter and find grace and a peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm just not there though.

- My wife is my best friend, and our marriage is the absolute greatest gift and joy of my life. Not because its a party or always easy. Those of you who know me, know I am far too passionate, grumpy, irritable and emotional for any relationship to be smooth sailing. But also among you, you have told me my heart is as big as five states. And that with God's grace and Jill-just-being perfect-hearted-Jill, its amazing.

- I am really praying to know in what way God wants me to use my gifts, talents and passions to bring Him glory and advance the Kingdom. I know it's going to be a strategic position, with great opportunity. He's put in deeply in my heart. But what does that look like? What will be my life's work and ministry outside of the home?

- Lebron James is the biggest freak I have ever seen. And Brian McKiernan and Adam Coyne still owe me $100 each because I bet them back in 2003 that King James would have a better rookie year than anyone in the modern era other than Oscar Robertson. Pay up suckas. He's perhaps more of a freak emotionally than physically. I mean think about it. This 18 year old lived up to, and continues to surpass any and all expectations, under greater pressure and scrutiny than has ever been placed on any athlete. Ever. Amazing. I love Lebron.

- I love Brady Quinn too. A great friend of mine had lunch with the Browns front-office and BQ this week. And at 23, this kid really gets it. In a Christian perspective and understanding of his blessings, talents and opportunity. I really want to see him succeed.

- I am a jerk sometimes. Sometimes I just have nothing but irritation. Grumpiness. I act like the 7 year old Jared crawled inside the 30 year old Jared and started knifing the 30 year old and blaming it on everyone else around. In a way it just reminds me of how young I am. How fast it seems I had to grow up. How much more it seems I have to grow to be the man that God designed me to be.

- But you know what? I'm on God's path for my life right now, so that growth and maturation is called: SANCTIFICATION. So, I'm cool.

- Don't tase me bro!

- I have the need.....the need for speed........

- Ah ha....Jester's dead!

- And two of your snot-nose punks buzzed my tower at over 400 knots! I want some butts!

Love this video below...and I love you!

peace.

jls

10 things I love right now

So I haven't written much lately? So what? Neither has Shakespeare!

Inspired by my friend Jay McKenney, I submit for your digestion, the top 10 things I love right now (and maybe a few that didn't make the cut)

1. The daily sanctification of my crazy life as I desperately walk (picture the kid that jogs through the mall to keep up with power-walking Mom) with Christ.

Wow! So my best friend and soul mate, Jill has been Jill Still since 7 Dec. In April, I finally migrated completely to our beautiful home in Plano, TX. Every. Single. Day. since Dec 7th has been transformational in my maturation as a Christian, a man, and what it means to be a hubby/daddy/step-daddy, Christian man.

2. My wife.

I can not even put into words the powerful, planet moving, soul-burning, life-changing, Jesus-reflecting, amazing agape, love that I enjoy from, and feel for, my wife Jill. Her heart. Our trust. Our communication. Our commitment to fight fairly through deep, real, recovery-needed-because-we've-both-been-really-hurt-issues. I know more about becoming a more Holy man, because the demand is in my face every single day. Marriage demands my absolute best. My absolute most. My absolute humility. My absolute most grace. And guess what? I'm never that good. Never. That's what is so amazing when you find that you-are-not-enough, and the distance between you and your wife is easily overcome by the 'combat bridge' of Jesus, Scripture, and my wife's own heart, love and grace. It's also amazing to see the power of certainty of our commitment being that of a lifetime. It is like building a house on top of Pikes Peak's 14,115 feet of granite, and hoping that it survives high-tide from the Atlantic Ocean. Yeah, it's that powerful.

3. Football.

In May, you ask? Yes. The draft a couple weeks ago was an annual renewal of my deep desire to be operationally involved in football. The NFL Network starting "Hard Knocks", a deep look inside the training camp of the KC Chiefs got me burning with that desire to be a part some day.

I love the business, I love the sport, I love the stories, I love the game & enterprise completely. Sorry defense world. Someday I will be in football.

4. Being a Daddy and step-daddy. I will go into much further detail in future posts, but to tease the subject, I am so in love and so grateful for the toughest job I've ever under-taken.

5. Raytheon contracting.

I am being used in the right capacity (more frequently) on exciting programs. I'm consistently 10-20 years junior to everyone else in the room; and if I may say so myself, through God's great blessing, I continue to flourish in those settings. I love being good at something, and while not always exciting, having a role, impact and your peer's respect, is really cool.

6. The Broncos draft.

With the addition of DT Kentwan Balmer right before the draft for a conditional pick in 2009 (basically for free because he'll never play 65% of downs in the Broncos scheme that rotates their lineman on so many downs), I feel the Broncos addressed their remaining needs with exceptional scouting and finding great potential value(including taking OT Ryan Clady at the highest pick the Broncos have had in about a decade at 12th overall, and getting a great KR & potential slot WR at 42 in Royal from VT). I am really excited that they drafted two married fathers and a guy that was at Bible study when he got his draft call (read: maturity)

7. USC Football

USC had perhaps the best draft of anyone. Wow, Pete Carroll can recruit and coach. And wow, am I excited to see another undefeated Trojan season and BCS National Championship!

8. Plano and Frisco, TX

I love this area so far. Really excited to explore more with Jill and the girls over the summer.

9. Finding a Church home.

As in, we really need to find one. I do really feel led to The Village Church in Highland Village. They're part of the Act 29 network (as is Mars Hill Church in SEA. And the Mars Hill pastor Mark Driscoll has been extremely influential this year in my theological growth. Thank you God for podcasting. See # 10). But we haven't decided and gotten connected yet. But I do know & trust that wherever that may be, that it is God that has taken us there and will use the community in the life of Jill, the girls and I.

10. Podcasting Sermons.

I've been so spiritually fed lately by sermons by a number of great, great pastors and Bible teachers. They all have different styles and are currently in different areas of instruction and emphasis in their teachings, but I am so blown away by God's word coming alive in my life through the teachings of:

Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church, SEA

Brady Boyd, New Life Church, Colorado Springs, CO (my Dad's Church)

Matt Chandler, The Village Church, Dallas, TX

Tommy Nelson, Denton Bible, Denton, TX