04 August 2008

The premise of the book I'm going to write

So, I've had this huge desire to write and tell stories for the better part of 5 years now. And embarrassingly so, I've yet to act on it. Sure, it hasn't been one of my primary focuses in life--but that's part of what brings me the embarrassment--I haven't made it a primary focus.

There was a window when I returned from Iraq that it would have been most relevant to tell the story of Baghdad 2004. Of course, the story I wanted to--and intended to--tell, was one of the 'romance' of the whole battle. The epic adventure that it was for me and my own band of brothers. So, perhaps the window of relevance for that story isn't closed, but it's not what I feel I need to write about now.

I need to write about being a man. I feel the lack of real men is an epidemic in our culture.

I feel it it is at the root of so many parts of our culture that are in decay.

I feel it is at the root of crime and incarceration statistics in the black community (yes, I'm going to write about it even though the race-mongers in our country won't let you talk about race unless you're black and your name ends in ___arpton or ___ckson)

I feel the lack of real men in our culture is an epidemic that is damaging a generation of women

I feel encouraged by the men in MY LIFE that embody the ideal to me.

Over the years I've come to see some character traits that are generally accepted as "manly" as stupid, machismo and ignorant. Over the years, I've also seen some of the cultural pressures on men to be poisonous lies and feminist propaganda.

I've also come to believe that young men today have such a false sense of identity because in large part they grew up as the first generation in this country that was absolutely at the center of the universe in terms of how their parents approached parenting.

I also feel that we raise emotionally constipated men that are unfit for raising other boys, let alone raising and loving little girls.

Men should cry. They should cry for joy, they should cry out of anger if they share the heart of God. They should cry when the weight and magnitude of their parents or spouses or God's love HITS THEM for the first time. It's cool. It's necessary and empowering to have a good man-cry.

Men should instinctively react to protect, defend and fight for what is RIGHT. I feel women are far more gifted at caring for the hungry, homeless and orphaned; I want to DEFEND THEM.

Men should find their identity in the right place. In their creator God, and His purposes for their lives. If they don't they will chase woman after woman in search of that identity and validation. Or, once married, they will still chase women, either through the fantasy of porn (53% of men use porn, even more have at one point been addicted) or through emotional and physical affair. Men, seeking their identity in the wrong place will chase the next job, the next promotion, the face-time with the boss and winning the quarterly 'xyz' as if it that promotion, raise and VP title were the ones at home every night, just wanting to be loved, hugged, admired and spent time with.

A real man figures out how to make it all work, and has the perspective on life to know that "it all" working means taking some rest, enjoying a laid back dinner of drinks and a meal with great friends, Bible study alone in the morning, a nap on Saturday afternoon with the wife. A real man can find balance in life through perspective, before finding perspective on life through things being out of balance.

Guys, we've got to instinctively know how to love, live, fight, defend, make peace, teach, lead and follow. The book I'm going to write is my belief in a road-map and framework to do so.

I need all the encouragement and accountability possible. After all, I'm three years behind on my first book.