I'm from the Government and I'm here to help...

Most comforting news since the Clinton Dept of Justice brought us this feel-good image of stealing kids:

sex panther for ladies

As those of you that follow me on twitter know, I have been engaged in mortal combat with the black Phyllis here at my classified, undisclosed location

This is not a battle of whit and intellect, as my sneezes are more interesting than my adversaries deepest thoughts...

This is not a battle for refridgerator space, as she has brilliant applied Sun Tzu strategies of mass (there's no freaking room for anything of mine) and surprise (her food seems to molecularly regenerate, thus never leaving any space)

Nor is this a battle for the most insanely ludicrous residence, given location of employment. Sure she lives by a golf course (we looked at it on these new inventions I brought to her attention called "Google Earth" and "Google Maps")...but it's 3 hours away in FREAKING SUN CITY!

No, this battle is an alagory of our times, as our white 30 year-old super hero finds himself fighting the daily oppression and institutionalized bigotry of biological and psychological terrorism at the hands of sex panther for ladies perfume.

Good Lord....the asphyxiation is almost imminent at each vital breath he takes! Ironically only saved by the miniature rain forest TBP has growing in this cubicle hell...as the poor innocent banzai and bamboo plants, take in just enough carbon dioxide for our hero to live to fight another day....even if they are growing purple-spotted leaves in the process.

check back in next week as we follow our hero's battle against the preying forces of the "come down to my cube and talk about nothing" US Government work force.