I'm causing myspace drama!

YOU. Stupid Denver Donkeys!

YOU SUCK! And Mikey Shanny...I am tired of your stupid face! just LEAVE!

(but I'm not quite deleting you)

I'm talking to YOU, you stupid Denver Broncos Alias!

(and I'm not quite dropping you from my top-friends...dropping you to the bottom so people know how MAD I AM AT YOU!)

Trust me Denver, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

We go back 30 years...30 freaking years!

And this is all you can give me?

I drove to the "whale's vagina", I mean, San Diego to see you SMACK THE PACK!

My parents left me home to see Craig Morton diarrhea all over the field and himself in New Orleans.

I cried against the Giants.

I cried for 3 quarters against Dougie and the Skins

I cut off my ear AND MAILED IT TO YOU after the Niner's

Then I cried, cried, and cried with joy against the Pack & Falcons.

AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN GIVE ME?!

I HATE YOU DENVER!

Nice run defense F'ers!

The guys with the ball, running between the tackles, are RUNNING BACKS...NOT BOMB-VEST-STRAPPED PALESTINIAN TERRORISTS!

You CAN, and in fact MUST tackle them! Hit them! HIT SOMEBODY!

When the little man kicks the football to you, run forward, without falling down...and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you drop that f'ing ball again, YOU WILL see the afore-mentioned terrorists, bombing your stupid stadium....I mean COUNTRY CLUB AT MILE HIGH!

GROW. SOME. STONES!

League's leading rusher? AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Solid 2nd year QB? (who might just need to keep his clothes on at private golf courses & stop throwing INT's) AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

BEST WIDE RECEIVING CORPS ever in Denver? EVER?!? AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Simeon Rice?
Champ Bailey?
DJ Williams?
Dre Bly?

AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Daniel Graham?
Coach Jim Bates?
Tim Crowder, Marcus Thomas & Jarvis Moss & crazy, little Dumerville?

AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW, DENVER.

But I'll always love. Remember Whitney Houston? Before all the crank & abuse? Yeah, "Bodyguard" type of I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Oh my gosh...just so emotional right now! Go...go away forever! Get out of my sight.

NO WAIT. I LOVEYOU! COME BACK!

We can make things like they used to be!

It's bad...but we can make it work.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!

YOU NEVER LOVED ME!

you only love the way that I love you...

NO WAIT! I didn't mean that....I'm so sorry....

YES I DID! I HATE YOUR STUPID TEAM!

I

(tears. pulling out my own hair)

LOVE

(more tears, doing weird break-dancing type of conniption fit on the floor crying)

YOU

(arms wide-open, begging you, the real you to come back)

PLEASE

(heavy, deep, crushing, moaning, weeps of sorrow)

WIN BABY....

JUST FREAKING WIN. (choking on my own tear-filled vomit)

BABY!