I'm causing myspace drama!

YOU. Stupid Denver Donkeys!

YOU SUCK! And Mikey Shanny...I am tired of your stupid face! just LEAVE!

(but I'm not quite deleting you)

I'm talking to YOU, you stupid Denver Broncos Alias!

(and I'm not quite dropping you from my top-friends...dropping you to the bottom so people know how MAD I AM AT YOU!)

Trust me Denver, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

We go back 30 years...30 freaking years!

And this is all you can give me?

I drove to the "whale's vagina", I mean, San Diego to see you SMACK THE PACK!

My parents left me home to see Craig Morton diarrhea all over the field and himself in New Orleans.

I cried against the Giants.

I cried for 3 quarters against Dougie and the Skins

I cut off my ear AND MAILED IT TO YOU after the Niner's

Then I cried, cried, and cried with joy against the Pack & Falcons.

AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN GIVE ME?!

I HATE YOU DENVER!

Nice run defense F'ers!

The guys with the ball, running between the tackles, are RUNNING BACKS...NOT BOMB-VEST-STRAPPED PALESTINIAN TERRORISTS!

You CAN, and in fact MUST tackle them! Hit them! HIT SOMEBODY!

When the little man kicks the football to you, run forward, without falling down...and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you drop that f'ing ball again, YOU WILL see the afore-mentioned terrorists, bombing your stupid stadium....I mean COUNTRY CLUB AT MILE HIGH!

GROW. SOME. STONES!

League's leading rusher? AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Solid 2nd year QB? (who might just need to keep his clothes on at private golf courses & stop throwing INT's) AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

BEST WIDE RECEIVING CORPS ever in Denver? EVER?!? AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Simeon Rice?
Champ Bailey?
DJ Williams?
Dre Bly?

AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Daniel Graham?
Coach Jim Bates?
Tim Crowder, Marcus Thomas & Jarvis Moss & crazy, little Dumerville?

AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW, DENVER.

But I'll always love. Remember Whitney Houston? Before all the crank & abuse? Yeah, "Bodyguard" type of I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Oh my gosh...just so emotional right now! Go...go away forever! Get out of my sight.

NO WAIT. I LOVEYOU! COME BACK!

We can make things like they used to be!

It's bad...but we can make it work.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!

YOU NEVER LOVED ME!

you only love the way that I love you...

NO WAIT! I didn't mean that....I'm so sorry....

YES I DID! I HATE YOUR STUPID TEAM!

I

(tears. pulling out my own hair)

LOVE

(more tears, doing weird break-dancing type of conniption fit on the floor crying)

YOU

(arms wide-open, begging you, the real you to come back)

PLEASE

(heavy, deep, crushing, moaning, weeps of sorrow)

WIN BABY....

JUST FREAKING WIN. (choking on my own tear-filled vomit)

BABY!

first the waffle, then chocolate & now Belgium brings the world the greatest lawsuit ever...

Scientology is labeled a criminal organization after a 10-year investigation.

Wow. And you thought Tom Cruise was crazy before...watch-out Katie, Maverick's gonna go ballistic!

my favorite story of the subprime meltdown

I love when arrogance gets turned on its head

haha. wow.

jls

I'm drunk. you drive.

Smart...unless you GIVE THE KEYS TO YOUR 5 YEAR OLD!!

Shocker that this happened in Indiana...where in their collective genius, they can't even decide on a single time-zone....

Hitler's waiting in hell for you.

Mike Vick said he'll see you in prison.

damn it! the WMD's were right under our nose the whole time!

This is odd on so many levels. Diplomatic reasons and rationale for actually storing chemical weapons at the UN totally escape me. Why not the arsenal in Alabama where all of our stock-piles are held? Or some other insignificant Southern state?

By the way, having supported the US Dept of Energy with the contract support for the extraction of nuclear waste from Tuwaitha, South of Baghdad (formerly classified, when I worked on the program), I can assure you; there was a ton of bad stuff in Iraq. You are naive, ignorant or too married to your political paradigm if you believe otherwise. It may not have been the best marketing/sound-bite choice to make the case to the American people that the war was so much of WMD's, but I personally feel the story of Iraq's weapons program is still, yet incomplete. There's far too much publicly available info regarding the sat photos and logistics trails of convoys moving from suspected weapons sites, West to Syria in early 2003, for me to believe that Saddam's regime got rid of the weapons programs and ambitions in three years.

I may go into much further nuanced hypothesis and thoughts on the war, the time leading up to war and the post-victory occupation when time and energy affords. I was totally and completely burnt-out on the topic when I first moved out here in Feb of 2005, as it had only been months since I got back--and I hated the rhetoric and close-minded propaganda that was constantly spewed about the war--always, ironically, by people that had spent the war mostly in Starbucks, production companies, Hollywood clubs, Vegas and the classroom. It seems to mean so little to most people that I was actually there; serving at the seat of power/media/military operations at the CPA in the Palace...but the only thing that mattered was whether I "was for or against the war".

You know what? It's complicated. But I am for total intellectual honesty. And I am against stupidity. So take your Sean Hannity and Terry McCullough sound-bites and shove them up your collective asses.

Whoa. Long overdue, micro-vent.

thank you for listening :)

jls

You need to get rid of your SUV's!

American's should get rid of their SUV's

Unless of course, you need your 15mpg Cadi' on your campaign for President.

Typical liberal hypocrisy

One Rich Bitch

90,000 homeless on the streets of Los Angeles last night, including 15,000 children....and THIS BITCH gets 12 Million dollars??

Wonderful.

smoke 'em if you got 'em

The Tobacco industry's poster-child turns 100.

wow. She's like a mix between the Marlboro man and the old lady from Stephen King's "The Stand".

whoa.

George Bush is killing another planet!

I'm sure you all that bow at the alter of Global Warming scripture will find a way to blame Bush, Halliburton, SUV's for Climate Change On Mars too

I mean, really?? Temps on Mars have increased at about the same rate as on earth since the 1970's? (uh. after the whole global cooling thing)

Really?

No way....it must have been Ronald Reagan and his Star Wars program.

lemmings. go find a cliff.

jls

what did your ma tell you about wrastlin' them asian machines??

100 Yen for a broken arm??

No thanks. I'll stick to Pacman...or maybe pick up a cigarette habit or something.

jeesh....

Umm...how 'bout you stop killing Jews first, then we'll talk

From the enlightened continent that brought us "the war to end all wars", Versailles treaty which stoked the Deutchland Uber Alles! fire, the inevitable rise of the Third Reich in reaction, and then that beauty of a conflict known as "Kill 5.7 million Jews and throw in another 30 million Russian civilians and combatants", we have THIS REQUEST

thanks for thinking of us, big bro! show us the way to civility!

jls

ps, for the record, I am completely pro-life, which means as much I like Old Testament vengeance upon our nations most evil, I just can't fathom leaving life & death decisions in the hands of the O.J. jury and IRS-type bureaucrats....but that's just me

Feed him to Mike Vick's dogs...

The Suns should be champs. They were robbed of the chance to compete on a level and fair playing ground.

At least, since this is an inherently American story, we should expect a "contrite" tell-all book by the end of the year.

Ugh. Disgusting.

The US Air Force's Core Values should be mandatory for all, infractions punishable:

INTEGRITY * SERVICE BEFORE SELF * EXCELLENCE IN ALL WE DO

maybe Al Gore will create a HISTORICAL documentary too...

I for one, will lend my astute political and media perspective to ALgore as a consultant on the film.

We will first interview a leading climate change scientist from the 1970's (yeah; global COOLING was the man-made problem just years ago), who may explain why carbon dioxide emissions have been "conclusively scientifically proven" to be a cause of both global warming AND cooling.

Maybe then we'll have some Michael Moore style fun with the NASA climate "experts" who just realized that the 1930's dustbowl was the hottest temperature this last century--NOT 1998!

Must have been all those damn SUV's and power-plants of the 1930's....

"Wait! You say! Why haven't I seen that on the evening news, if it's true??"

Kids, you have to ask yourselves these same questions. Although maybe a bit red-faced, if you ask your parents, they were probably also in the "Corporate America is killing the planet" global cooling brigade of the '70's. Then they were leading the war to save the ozone.

Yeah--remember the ozone layer? I thought we were all supposed to die or melt by now...how is it that the ozone layer has actually repaired itself? Couldn't possibly be our cyclical climate, right?

Kids. Don't drink the Koolaid. Ask tough questions....it doesn't make you compassionate, virtuous NOR informed to be an intellectual lemming.

I digress, back to the film:

Maybe, me and the monotone-monster algore will then go back to Greenland and figure out which one of Halliburton's SUV's is responsible for the ICE GROWTH in Greenland

As with all great Documentary pieces, we need to move people to action!

I will then wake up algore, dress him in some earth tones, call him an alpha male, and try to scare everybody into agreement!

And then when our beloved Hurricane season "proof" fails to materialize, we will tell people that Global Warming is just taking a nap. A siesta. A timeout. A break. A little nappy-poo.......

BEFORE IT COMES BACK WITH A VENGENCE IN 2008!!! MUUUAAAAHHH HA HA HA HA!!!

...and algore and I will laugh all the way to the bank. Suckers.

it like, totally comes in pink & fits in, like, my Channel bag too

I don't know...maybe it's just me....but this is scarier than firearms....because at least most people are too scared to go buy a firearm. This frightens me as a Dad, boyfriend and LA resident. If I were the predatory criminal type, and I came across a target of opportunity, say for instance a gorgeous girl, little girls, convenience store owner, or just an apparent-well-to-do 4Runner-driving white guy, I could drop/incapacitate my victim and not have to use deadly force.

I am a HUGE, strict-constructionist of the 2nd Amendment (well, the rest of the Constitution for that matter)...but this thing, coming to a WALMART near you?!

Now packing 50,000 volts in your purse?!

Oh. That's an IOU for $400,00. You might want to keep that one

Wow.

I don't begrudge anybody the opportunity to throw down some cash on one of the greatest machines in the world....but I hate that *stupid* people can afford this car...

Sucks to be this guy